Flashback…Part seven.

Desiree, Tawny, Megan.  I have made my way through three more submissives in the past year.  There was nothing wrong with any of them, the problem is clearly with me.  My scars run deep, my pain endless.  I don’t know exactly what it is that I’m looking for in these girls.  The domination, the sex, and the control doesn’t seem to be nearly enough for me anymore. I am now at a loss.  Even Flynn is unsure of what to tell me anymore.

To be this fucked up is confusing, challenging and even maddening at times.  Trying to forget my past is something that even Flynn has been unable to do.  While the memories of my first years with the crack whore and her pimp are faint, they are still there haunting me every single day.  

At times I just wish that I could be a normal man.  Able to fall in love, get married, have a family.  But, I know that it will never happen that way for me, it is impossible.  

Enter Leila.  I have learned since meeting her that she may be as equally fucked up as I am.  We met at an underground club, much like the one that Elena took me to way back when.  I knew immediately that our connection would be different, because she was different.  She had a spirit about her unlike the others.  She was a true submissive, yet she had no problem fucking around with me, giving me shit for even the littlest things.  In some strange way, she made me feel again.  Feel something other than the pain of my past…and for that, her punishments were that much more enjoyable for me.  How dare this girl stir up feelings and emotions that I had worked so hard at keeping buried.

Leila would prove to be different in every way.  She had a confidence about her, she challenged me in so many ways.  I hated it, and I welcomed it at this particular time in my life when things have become so confusing.  Even at times, Leila would make me laugh, which trust me, is extremely hard to do.  For that, I hated her, and fuck me if I didn’t adore her at the same time.  

Even our first encounter was unlike the other first times with my many submissives.  The sex was mind-blowing.  Up until Leila, I had no idea that fucking could be like this.  Although she remained the perfect submissive, she had this way of sneaking in her own moments of control, which in time,  I actually grew  to enjoy.

The weekend was coming to an end, and it was almost time to send Leila on her way until next Friday.  I have a charity event to attend this evening, so, as usual Leila would accompany me.  She was always dressed to kill when I took her out…No doubt that my credit card played a part in that.  

Showered, clean shaven and dressed in my finest tuxedo, I leave my bedroom and make my way  to her room to see if she is ready to leave.  I knock as a formality before entering, and find her sitting on the bed pulling on black stockings and attaching them to a red silk garter belt that sits perfectly on her hips.  No panties…Good girl.  She smiles as she explains that she just needs a minute, then disappears into the large walk-in closet.  

A few minutes pass, and she emerges from the make shift changing room in a long black, dangerously low cut sequin gown.  The fabric hugs every curve of her frame, and I find myself unable to take my eyes off of her for a moment.   I quickly snap out of it offering her my arm to escort her to the elevator.  Christ, Grey, what the fuck was that?  Get a grip man, I tell myself as I remind myself who I am, and what I will always be.  No hearts, no flowers.  

We get into the limo that I have rented for the evening, and my inner dialogue continues on explaining that just because I am fucked up, does not mean that I can’t appreciate a beautiful woman.  Yes, I understand that, I explain to the voice in my head.  But I was on the verge of drool bucket status there for a brief moment.  I do not drool, ever.  Right, Grey, so shut up and try to enjoy the night, fool.  

We arrive at the benefit, and I quickly shut down the voices in my head.  As we enter the ballroom, all eyes are on Leila.  She looked so beautiful, that she demanded the attention of every single man in the room, and most of the woman.  

After some light conversation with some of the other guests, and a couple of glasses of champagne, I am reminded of Leila’s garter belt that only her and I know is hiding under her beautiful gown.  My cock twitches at the thought…This needs to be addressed, and soon.

Her banter with the gentlemen in the room has all but charmed the pants off of them all, and is now charming the pants off of me, literally.  I place my hand on the small of her back and lead her out of the room.  We make our way past the kitchen and down a long corridor to find some privacy.  

No words are spoken as I push her against the wall, one hand grabbing a fistful of hair, the other finding its way past the slit in her dress and between her legs.  My lips are now pressed hard against hers as she begins to undo the button of my pants.  She moans softly as I slip a finger inside of her, slowly thrusting it in and out as she becomes wetter and wetter.

My cock now free, she fishes a condom from my pocket and quickly tears it open with her teeth before sliding it down onto my now throbbing erection.  I pull my fingers out and replace it with my cock, and we both let out a groan as the intense feeling takes us over.  Leila never being one to keep quiet, becomes louder in her moans, and I quickly silence her with my hand over her mouth.  I thrust harder and harder into her as we give the wall a good story to tell later.  

I slide my hands under her ass and lift her up as she wraps her legs around my waist, and I continue my much welcomed charity event invasion of her body.  Suddenly, we hear two voices from down the corridor accompanied with footsteps coming in our direction.  Christ, really?  I sadly and disappointedly pull out of her, set her down and we quickly straighten ourselves up.  Now rejoining the event, both of us longing to finish what we started, we say our goodbyes and leave the ball.

The limo is looking pretty damn good right about now…

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Fifty Shades of Christmas…

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Escala……

Holy fuck! I come home from work to find a crowd gathered in front of the door to my penthouse. I recognize every single beautiful face standing before me. Each dressed in naughty Christmas garb, each one equally sexy. But, why are they all here I wonder?

Jo…better known as “legs” is the first to approach me, and with a naughty grin sweeping across her face, she takes my hand and escorts me into the penthouse…followed by the rest of the girls.

“Mr. Grey, sir, we are all here because we’ve been very, very naughty this year and we want you to punish us.”

I am speechless to say the least as we enter the penthouse, my palm now twitching uncontrollably. The thought of spanking all of these beautiful women is overwhelming, and extremely hot as fuck!

We stop in the living room, giggles and chatter fill the room. “Can we see the Red Room, please, sir, please?” I hear coming from more than one of the ladies. I turn to see Chrissy, Angela, Lona and Jazi are the culprits behind the request. Not surprising…

“Ladies, please, let me change and then I will be more than happy to punish each and every one of you…in the Red Room, yes” I turn and begin to walk towards my bedroom shaking my head as I laugh quietly to myself. Christ I love these ladies.

I put on my favorite pair of old torn faded jeans and make my way back into the living room filled with “Christian’s naughty little helpers”

Sarabeth and Yana have become bartenders and are mixing everyone drinks. Kerstin has put on a CD and some of the girls have begun to dance merrily around the room. Margaret, Kassie, Dawn and Joy are now dancing on the coffee table and believe me when I tell you that sexy grinding is involved here…Am I the luckiest man in the world? I think yes…

Shirley brings me a glass of champagne joined by Rhonda and Lily who begin to tell me a story about how they had misbehaved last weekend, and that they think they are in need of extra punishment tonight.

Out of nowhere, Marie butts in telling all of the girls that she must go first, because she is the naughtiest fucker to ever grace the planet and she isn’t taking no for an answer! Fucking Marie, you cant help but love that crazy girl.

“Alright, alright.” I smirk, laughing. “On to the Red Room, ladies.” And, I am now afraid of what will happen to my hand, as I believe it will be broken after tonight.

Nora, Gemma, Leanna and Jojo run eagerly ahead so that they can get in line first at the door of the Red Room. Melissa shouts out…”Oh no you bitches don’t!” And catches up pushing her way to the front. I am now beginning to fear that we may see a fight tonight, but always the voice of reason, Miss Scarlett addresses the crowd telling them to calm the fuck down before I throw them all out. Fine point, well made, Miss Scarlett, I think to myself.

I fish the key to the Red Room from my pocket and unlock the door. I stand aside, allowing the ladies to pile into the large room. I nod with a huge grin as they pass by one by one…Zoraya, Linsey, My Locky, Jan, Diana, Katie, Mary, Eva, Rhiannon, Romina, Katie, Ms. Rose who it appears has brought her own flogger, Tara, Lisa, Crystol,Kristie, Lou,Heather, Linda, The three M’s…Michele, Michelle, and Michelle…My Queen Joanna and My princess Lona who are both now pretty drunk…Chrissy with a Vodka Sour in hand.

The Red Room is now wall to wall sexy ladies all eagerly awaiting a spanking…I look at each and every one of them, feeling like the luckiest bastard alive to have such incredible ladies that honor me with their company on a regular basis. Whatever I did to deserve this, I will never know, but I am thankful for each and every single one of their naughty sexy asses.

Speaking of asses…it is time to get down to it…My palm twitches as I pull a stool to the center of the room and call the girls over one by one…

Merry Christmas to all of you incredible, amazing sexy ladies. Thank you for all of the love, kindness, support and never-ending naughtiness that you have brought to this fucked up man’s life. {winks}

Much, much love.
Yours, Christian Grey.


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Flashback…Part six

Claudette didn’t last long. To be honest, she got on my last nerve. Not to mention the cheap French perfume that she drowned herself in…enough of that shit. Moving on.

The search for the perfect submissive continues. I decide to take a new approach, instead of searching the club that Elena had introduced me to, I reluctantly make a profile on a website that matches Dominants with Submissives. This should be interesting to say the least.

Log in: Day one:
I scroll through the profiles of possible candidates, and am a bit disappointed in what I am seeing. Too old, too young, too scary…too much. Is it really that difficult to find a normal sub? Yes, I did say normal. Most of the girls on this website look like they are dressed up and ready to enter a Halloween costume contest, not my style.

I respond to a few of the emails that I received, not feeling overly positive about this process after all. I have been a dominant for a very short time now. How the fuck would I know where to find a well trained, sane attractive sub?

Frustrated, I place a call to Elena. She and I have remained close, surely she will be able to assist me in this matter.

“Elena, it’s Christian. I have a question for you.”

“Christian, darling…I knew you’d be back. Miss me don’t you, baby.” I can almost hear the obvious smirk in her always seductive breathy voice. I reply, keeping my tone calm.

“Not exactly. I told you that I’m through being your sub, Elena. May we move past this finally?” Christ, here we go again. Clearly she’s still having issues moving on.

“Of course, Christian. What is it that you need?”

“I know that you don’t like me talking about this with you, Elena, but I’m having issues with my search for a submissive. Any thoughts?”

“What happened to the last one…Baguette? That little French girl?” She begins to laugh, obviously pleased to hear that I have already gone through yet another sub.

“Claudette. You know her name, Elena.” I roll my eyes, annoyed at her childish behavior. “If you don’t want to help me, I will figure it out on my own.”

“Darling, just come back to me, we can play a little switch every now and then. You’ll never find anyone like me, I think you know that by now.”

“No, Elena. I have told you already that I am not going back to being your submissive. Just forget that I called. I will figure this out on my own.”

“Have it your way, Christian. But, you will be back, maybe not today, but one day. Good luck, darling.” And with that said, she hangs up.

 I wake up the next morning, cock and palm both twitching full force. Fuck, I need to find someone and soon. Hopefully this time I will find a girl that doesn’t swim in cheap perfume.

Log in: Day two.
I scroll through the endless sea of emails, and am happy to see quite a few normal girls this time. Thank fucking god. I am quickly attracted to one profile in particular. Desiree, 21, long chestnut brown hair and big mysterious dark eyes. Perfect. I send her an email, then finish getting ready for work as I wait for her reply.

I choose a dark blue Armani suit with black silk tie to wear today. Being so successful at the young age of 23, I find that the more professional I look, the more people take me seriously. My empire is growing quickly, and, the stresses of running such a large company is becoming much easier now.

I am finding that my weekends have become something that I look forward to even more since leaving Elena. Being a dominant allows you to blow off a huge amount of steam…and, I have a lot of steam built up since letting Claudette go last week.

I check my emails before I leave. There is a reply from Desiree, wonderful. She wants to meet tonight at Sergio’s on the corner of 9th and Sable. I respond quickly telling her that I will be there promptly at 8pm and to be on time.

Switching off my laptop, I head for the door, a long day ahead with a possibility of a good night to follow.

I hope this girl works out and I also hope that she is ready for the fucking of a lifetime….

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Flashback…Part five.

It’s been close to a month since I ended my time with Joanna, my very first submissive. I am thankful that I found a new sub so quickly because I am horny as fuck.

It has been just over a year since I left Elena, and, I am still slowly learning to control many different things as a new dominant, including my twitching cock.
 Claudette arrives at Escala at 8:00 pm just as I had asked. Prompt. I like that in a submissive. I take her directly to the playroom and order her to remove her clothes. If I have learned anything from my experiences with Joanna, it’s to keep things “strictly business.”
 I walk down the corridor to my room to change into those old faded torn jeans that have now become my uniform of sorts for the playroom, remembering this time to take a hair tie from my drawer to tie back her long hair.
I am pleased when I find Claudette in the center of the room, head down, kneeling, hands placed on her thighs.  “Good girl.”  I say to her in a deep voice as I walk slowly behind her.  I kneel down and gather up her long brown hair in my hands.  I remove the tangles with my fingers and begin to braid it.  As I reach the bottom, I take the tie from my pocket and wind it around the stray ends.
“Stand and follow me.”  I order.  She rises to her feet immediately, and follows me to the suspension rack.  I fasten her wrists into the wide leather cuffs, one after the other and my cock instantly begins to twitch at the sight of her this way.  I walk over to the tall dresser just a few feet away, opening the top drawer, I remove a set of metal nipple clamps and a black silk blindfold.  
I walk back to where she is standing, place the blindfold over her eyes wrapping it around to the back of her head, where I tie it into a snug knot.  Moving in-front of her again, I place the clamps onto her now erect nipples which causes my cock to twitch yet again.
Just seeing her like this is incredibly hot.  I feel like a true dominant for the first time since I began this journey with Joanna one year ago.  It was more of an trial and error situation with her, but, it was still incredible to be the dominant, not the submissive as I had been with Elena for all of those years. 
With Claudette now blindfolded, clamped and cuffed, I undo my jeans and slide them off, kicking them to the side before I walk closer to her.  
“How do these feel?  Are they tight enough for your pleasure, Claudette?”  I ask as I grab the clamps that are on her nipples.  She nods, yet doesn’t answer.  “I cant hear you.”  I say to her, my voice low and irritated.
“Yes…yes sir.”  She finally replies in a soft voice, her head immediately bows down.
“You will answer when spoken to, understood?”  She keeps her head down and quickly replies, Yes sir…
Good girl.”  I turn the small screw on each clamp forcing her nipples into a tighter vice grip… and that is for my pleasure.
As one hand reaches up to grab a hold of her braid, the other moves down between her legs.  “You may not come, Claudette.  When you learn to follow the rules, then and only then will I allow that.  Understood?”  She nods and quickly replies, Yes, sir.
“Better.”  I insert two fingers inside her and begin to pump them slowly in and out at first.  She begins to moan softly, moving her hips in a circular motion against my hand.  My thumb slides up to work her clitoris as my fingers begin to thrust into her harder causing her body to quiver slightly at my expert touch.
“That will be enough, as I said…you don’t get to come this time.”  I remove my fingers and retrieve my riding crop from one of the drawers.  
“Spread your legs for me, wide.”  My voice is deep, commanding.  “Wider.”  I demand.  I trail the crop down the center of her body, ending right between her legs.  I hit once, twice…three times.  She lets out a soft moan as her body begins to shake from the intense pleasure of the riding crop.  My palm begins to twitch out of control, so I toss the crop onto the bed and move behind her, to give her well deserved punishment.
“You do know why I am punishing you, don’t you Claudette?”  I take hold of her hips and pull her back against me, my hand now caressing her ass.  
“Yes sir, I do.”  She answers quickly, and I can almost hear the smile on her face as she does.  I swing my arm back before spanking her ass, hard.  A slight blush of pale pink shows up quickly.  Not pink enough, not by a long shot.
I spank her again and again, watching as her ass begins to turn the perfect shade of pink. Every time that I spank her, she cries out from the sheer pleasure of it all.  I think that I could do this one thing and nothing else for hours on end, but that’s something that I’ll have to work up to.  For now, my cock is screaming out to get inside of her.
I bend her over as far as the restraints will allow, my throbbing cock now rests at her entrance.  I can’t help myself and I give her one last hard swat on the ass before, declaring…
“Now, I’m going to fuck you, Claudette…hard…”
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Flashback…part four.

It’s been just over a year with Joanna, and I had to abruptly end our time together.  She unfortunately made the mistake that a lot of young submissives seem to make.  She fell in love with me.

I had to explain to her, that I have never had a traditional relationship before, and that I had absolutely no interest in starting one with her, or anyone else for that matter.  The hearts and flowers type of relationship has never appealed to me.  So, on to submissive number two.

 I’ve learned a lot since my debut as a dominant one year ago.  I now have a contract that will have to be signed by any future sub, and now that my business has taken off as it has, my lawyer suggested that I have them sign a Non Disclosure Agreement as well in order to keep my personal life…personal.

Fucking paperwork…

It’s been about a month since I ended things with Joanna.  I decided to get everything in order before beginning my search for my next submissive.  It’s been a hard month, and I do mean hard.  Seeing Joanna on the weekends meant that I could always depend on some exceptional sex, exceptional kinky fuckery and frankly, some extremely exceptional head.  Christ, that girl could suck the nails out of a headboard, she was that damn good.  

But, all good things must come to an end.  

So, I went back to that same club where I had found Joanna, and it was there that I met a girl named Claudette.  I quickly found out that this girl was about as fucked up as I am, so we immediately hit it off and she agreed to become my next sub.  After signing all of the paperwork, we began our fucked up journey together. 




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Flashback…part three.

Joanna and I had only been in my playroom for about ten minutes, and already I felt like a new man…a true dominant.  

Elena was preparing me for this day from the beginning, even if she didn’t realize it.  I was never meant to be anyone’s submissive, this is how it was always supposed to be.  

I only ran into one small problem with Joanna…she has an issue with genital clamps so, I’ve decided that it might be in everyone’s best interests to draw up some sort of contract that states the submissives hard/soft limits and things of that nature.  She had explained beforehand that she’s been a submissive for two years, and actually was searching for a new dominant.  I’ll have to do some thinking about that, there’s so much to consider now that I’ve decided to take on my first  submissive.  I had better call my lawyer to discuss a contract, and Flynn to discuss everything else. 

There is also the issue of time…when, and for how long.  I will never have a submissive sleep in my bed, but I sent Joanna home last night after we had finished, and I really would’ve liked it if she were here when I woke up…just not in my bed.  I could put her in the spare room for a night or two, so that way she’d be here in the morning when I wake up horny as fuck…Not a bad idea at all. 

It’s possible that I may decide to test out a few different subs before choosing one for a more permanent arrangement, be it a few weeks, months or even years.  I have no way of knowing what will happen with any sub that I choose, and it’s not like I’ll get attached, so it really doesn’t matter.


All in all, I’d have to say that my first experience as the dominant was successful, and I heard no complaints on her part…not that I was worried.  I have had enough experience, and, even as a submissive, you tend to pick plenty of things up along the way.  It’s not really that much of a difference, but  if you were meant to control, eventually you will be in the dominant position.  

Joanna will be coming over again later this evening.  I look forward to trying many other things out on her…things that I didn’t get to last night.  For instance, suspension is something that I’ve been anxious to do for quite some time now…that, and spanking.  It seems simple, I know…but there’s  just something about having a bare assed woman lying across your lap…ready and waiting for her punishment, that just turns me the fuck on.  

Now, it’s my turn to do the punishing for a change, and tonight…Joanna will be meeting my twitchy palm…




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Flashback…part two.

Joanna and I arrive at my newly acquired piece of real estate…My luxury penthouse apartment located on the top floor in the Escala building located in Seattle.  The entire top floor, to be exact.

I’m almost as excited to finally be having my first guest here…my first submissive…the first time that I’ll be utilizing my playroom. A lot of firsts, indeed.

I lead Joanna through the foyer and then through the over-sized living room, up the stairs then down the long corridor that leads to my playroom.  I slip my hand into my pocket and fish the key out.  Why the fuck am I so nervous?  I’ve been Elena’s submissive for the past 6 years, I know what to do as a dominant…she trained me well. 

I let her enter before me, my heart now pounding as I go over what I’m going to do in my head.  Where and how do I begin?  

Joanna seems to be at more ease than I am right now. We had a discussion on the drive here about her experience as a sub, and I decided not to tell her that this was my first time as the dominant…she doesn’t need to know my business. 

Only a few minutes have passed since we entered the room and she seems to be awaiting instructions from me.  Elena always had me undress and sit on the floor in a certain position every single time…I’ll instruct Joanna to do that. 

“Undress and then sit on the floor in a kneeling position, sitting back, hands on your thighs.” I order.  I don’t know if that even came out right, but…she does it perfectly.  

She looks down, seemingly hanging on my next command.  I suddenly begin to feel over-dressed in my suit, so I tell her to stay where she is before leaving the room to go and change.

I stand at my closet trying to decide what a dom would wear.  Elena always wore a leather bustier, garter and stockings…so I at least know enough not to begin naked.  I choose an old pair of faded torn blue jeans…these feel right.  I quickly change, deciding to go without shoes or a shirt, and I make my way back down the corridor to the playroom.

Inside I find Joanna in the same position as I had left her.  Her hair is very long, so I decide to put it into a braid, so that it doesn’t get in my way.  I move behind her and begin to braid it, and as I reach the end, I think to myself…Shit, if I would’ve thought of this earlier, I would’ve brought a hair-tie with me…Note to self, have Gail buy hair-ties the next time she goes to the store.  I tear off a stray piece of torn material from the bottom of my jeans and use that as a make-shirt hair tie…Good enough.

Now to begin…

I crouch down, placing two fingers underneath her chin before tilting her face upward so that her eyes meet mine. “As lovely as you look just the way you are right now, I’d like you to go lie on the bed.”  She immediately rises to her feet and goes directly to the bed.  I need to work on my commands…that sounded terrible.  

Fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be, but…I will conquer this just like I have everything else in my life. I am after all only 21…how commanding am I expected to sound at this age.  

Joanna is now lying on the bed.  I had best get to it before she becomes bored and leaves. Christ…I have to learn somehow don’t I?  I never expected that the first time would go smoothly…

I decide to start off light.  I pull out the set of shackles that are attached to each of the four bed posts, and begin to fasten them to her…beginning with each wrist before moving to her ankles.  She is now securely fastened and ready for me to do with as I wish.

I walk over to the set of drawers that are against the wall, and choose a leather riding crop as my first implement of play.  As I turn to make my way back to the bed, I notice that Joanna is as still as she could be.  Her eyes are focused in-front of her, and she hasn’t spoken a word since arriving at my apartment.  

I suddenly feel a rush of confidence sweep over me.  I’m standing up taller.  I don’t feel nervous any longer…I feel in complete control.  This girl…Joanna, my first submissive has unknowingly shown me how it feels to be a dominant.  

And, I am…I am now officially Christian Grey, the dominant. 

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Flashback…The new and improved, Mr. Grey…

After much careful consideration, I’ve decided to end my time with Elena.  She has taught me all that I need to know over the years about this lifestyle, and I feel that I am ready to end my time as her submissive.  I’m much older now, and in total control of my life, so it just seems like the obvious next step.

Telling Elena didn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped.  She tried to convince me that I wasn’t ready to take on my first submissive, but I realized that, she was the one that wasn’t ready to let me go.

But, my mind was made up, so all that there was left to do, was to thank her for guiding me and teaching me to become the man that I am today.  I may still be fucked up…but, far less so than I was six years ago when she introduced me to this life.

Elena taught me self-control…she taught me that I can trust certain people, when I allow myself to, and she taught me that, in certain situations that it is best to still the mind and cage the rage…something that I had no clue how to do as a boy.

So, after a lengthy discussion, she decides to give in and give me her blessing, and tells me that she will always be there for me as a close friend and confidant.  I really left her no other choice…my mind was made up.

I am grateful for her, and for all that she’s taught me, but the time has come for me to seek out my first submissive.  And…there is no time like the present.

I decide to make a trip to a club that is on the other side of town…the place that Elena took me to every once in awhile, and there I will make an attempt to seek out my first sub.  This club is definitely way off the radar, and she assured me back then that it was a place that we’d never…ever, be recognized at.

I’m nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time during my drive to the club.  I don’t actually expect to just walk in there and have some beautiful submissive fall right into my lap…if only it were that simple.

When Elena and I would go to this club, I was… hers, but… I did manage to make a couple of friends in the process, and I only hope that I may run into one or two of them tonight.  It’s a long shot as it’s been over a year since we last visited this place, but I find comfort in the possibility of even one of them being there tonight.

I enter the club…it is extremely dark and the music is loud.  Some of the people that come here are into the Master/Slave thing…that always seemed a bit more intense, and somewhat demeaning to me. But, to each their own.  I’m not the type of man who passes judgement on anyone…for anything.

Here you will see a Master with his collared Slave on all fours making their way through the crowd.  The slaves never speak unless spoken too and their eyes are always looking down.     It’s not hard to determine who is a slave and who is a submissive…the difference may be slight, but Elena taught me what to look for, so I begin my search.

The club is extremely crowded…many are drinking, few are dancing.  I single out a girl alone at the bar right away.  Brunette, slender…pretty.  She is sipping on her drink as she looks around the room with a somewhat innocent gaze.  Is she waiting for someone?  Is she here alone hoping that a man…a man like me perhaps will approach her?

I find an empty stool at the other end of the bar and take a seat ordering a drink to calm my nerves.  I watch her closely and intently…I wait to see if someone joins her.  I think about what I’ll say if no one does, and I then uncharacteristically down my drink as I prepare to make my move.

I had no idea that my first time would be so fucking nerve-racking.  I’m too cocky for my own good sometimes…

Twenty minutes pass, and she is still sitting there alone…her drink now empty.  She’s made eye contact with me more than a few times, so I decide to get off of this stool that has now become my safe haven, and go talk to her.

Fuck…here goes nothing.

Our eyes lock as I make my way through the crowd, and all the while, I’m rehearsing my opening line as I approach her.  Do I just blurt out…Hello, I’m Mr.Grey and I’d like to make you my submissive…I’d like to do all sorts of filthy things to you and make you my property?  Probably not…

Alright, now I’m here…standing right in-front of her. Christ, you only have to strike up a normal conversation Grey…the rest will come.  Calm the fuck down and say hello already.

“Good evening…may I join you?”  I exhale and take the stool next to hers even before she has a chance to respond.  She remains silent as if she’s waiting for me to give her permission to speak…Interesting.

She is even prettier up close.  The golden flakes in her eyes glisten from the glow of the candle that sits on the bar just in-front of us, and her fair skin is completely flawless …good choice for my first submissive.  Now, to find a way to start that conversation.

“Are you waiting for someone?”  She shakes her head, no and then immediately looks down, remaining silent.  This is interesting.  It’s as if she knows exactly what I want from her…exactly what I expect her to do.  Fuck, maybe submissives do just fall into peoples laps.

I place a finger beneath her chin tilting her head up so that her eyes again meet mine.

“What’s your name?”  Christ, the power that I seem to have over her already is exhilaration.  I’d like nothing more than to take her back to my place…and begin my life as my new dominant self.

“It’s Joanna, sir.”  She replies in a soft, sweet…submissive voice.  Sir?  Oh…this was too easy.

After having her answer a few questions, another drink and a short conversation…we leave the bar and go to my place…it’s finally time to christen my brand new playroom

Christian Grey the submissive is officially dead….

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Like a virgin…flogged for the very first time.

Elena’s stare is extremely intimidating…almost eerie.  Especially to a 15 year old virgin. My introduction to life was fucked up, why not my first sexual experience?  It seems par for the course, at this point.

She is now pacing slowly back and forth in-front of me, her eyes burning into me as she hits the palm of her hand every few minutes with the riding crop.  She is explaining what she will be doing to me, and why.  The why is even more important than the what.

“Darling, this will teach you how to take control of your life.”  She leans forward and grabs my chin tight in her grip, tilting my face upward, forcing me to look into her eyes as she speaks.  “This isn’t about sex as much as it’s about control…you can use my techniques in every aspect of your life.”

She isn’t really making any sense…not to a boy my age anyway.  I just came for the sex…when do we get to the sex part, I want to say.  But, I remain silent as she finishes with her speech on how I am to behave as her submissive.

Her what?  What the fuck is she talking about?  I hear her explaining it all, but I’m not really processing any of it.  She tells me that, this will take a very long time and that we must both be dedicated to the process.

The process?  Christ…this is extremely confusing.  She doesn’t even seemed concerned that I might tell my mom about this.  Does my mom even know that she does this?  How she seduces young boys and makes them her submissives?  There’s no fucking way that Grace knows…

Elena now, standing straight up again, tells me to go lay on the bed…arms out, legs spread, she orders.  I do as I’m told, figuring that now at least we’re getting closer to the sex part.  She follows me, setting the crop on the bedside table before pulling long leather straps from each corner of the large four poster bed.

She fastens me in tight.  First my wrists, then my ankles…giving each strap a tug to make sure that it’s nice and secure.  She picks the crop back up, and walks to the edge of the bed, that look is back in her eyes.  This is some freaky shit, I think to myself.  Part of me wants to bust out of these restraints and run for the door.  But, the fucked up part…which is honestly, about 98.9 % of me, decides to ride it out.

Let’s just see what the hell it is that she’s been going on about…this submissive stuff.  I wish her luck with that…I have been pretty hard to handle lately.  I don’t listen to anyone, so…this will be fucking interesting.

Oh shit…here we go.

She tells me to lie still and not to talk.  Alright, I can do that.  She begins by trailing the riding crop down the length of my entire body…chest to toes.  I want to come out of my skin and yell out as she drags it across my chest. Not that it hurts or anything, I just hate anyone or anything touching me there.  She sees me squirm though, and whacks me lightly on the thigh with the crop.

“Christian, I said hold still.”  She growls.  Then stay the fuck away from my chest, bitch... I want to yell out.  But, I notice that she didn’t call me darling this time…so I decide to stay quiet for now.  After-all, I really have no idea what I’m up against quite yet.  With all of that shit hanging on the wall, who knows exactly what Elena is planning on doing to me tonight.

She walks over to the wall, explaining that she is trading the riding crop for a flogger due to the fact, that when used properly, it creates a nicer…sting…she says, followed by a devious, but sexy sort of laugh.

Sting? I don’t want to be stung…I think to myself.  I begin to struggle against the four restraints that are keeping me from being able to jump off this bed and run for the door.  I yank, I pull…nothing.

“Just let me out of this shit, Elena.  I want to go.”  I yell out, confused by the entire situation.

“Darling.” She sits down next to me on the bed, her voice softer now.  “I’m not going to hurt you, and, there is nothing to be scared of…now just relax…enjoy it” She shoots me a wink…

Enjoy it? But, you’re about to sting me with that fucking thing.  Nobody would enjoy it.

And, before I could drive myself anymore insane with all of the yelling that’s going on inside of my head, she moves swiftly over me, and is now straddling me.  My cock begins to twitch slightly…partly because she is half naked, and partly because…well, I’m a horny 15 year old, completely naked and strapped to a hot older woman’s bed.

“Mmm, I see that now you’re relaxing.”  That’s not relaxed, that’s horny.

She takes the flogger and drags it slowly down my chest stopping at my stomach, before drawing back her arm, then with a twirling movement of her wrist, she repeatedly whips it down onto my chest.  She was right…it does sting a little, but it doesn’t hurt.

Wait, I spoke to soon.  That’s starting to hurt…but, just a little.  I begin to pull against the straps, my body beginning to writhe around the bed within the confines of my small restrained space.  She can clearly see now that there’s a look of pain on my face each time the flogger strikes my skin.

“Control it, darling…you are in charge of your body…don’t let the pain get the best of you.”  Huh?  That doesn’t even make sense to me right now.  “Breath, baby…”  She whispers.  “Once you understand it, you will learn to control it.”

Alright…I can do this.  After-all, this is what she was explaining to me earlier.  Even if everything she has said is still confusing to me, I’m willing to give it a shot.  I try to let her soft voice sooth me…I try to relax and find a way to enjoy this.  I remember her words…This will teach you to control your life.

I close my eyes and focus, slowly but surely becoming more and more relaxed.  The flogger still stings, but it’s now a different kind of sting.  She continues to hit the exact same spot over and over…and, it’s almost numb at this point.  It almost feels good.  Hmm, weird.  Well, at least my cock seems to think so, because now it has decided to fully join the party and is ready to play.

“Very good, Christian.”  She says, her voice now low…raspy.  “You’re a natural…just like I knew you’d be.”

She tosses the flogger onto the floor.  She lifts herself up just enough to move her panties aside before taking hold of my cock and lowering herself slowly down onto it… letting out a soft moan as she guides me inside of her with ease…

Oh fuck…I’m having sex with my moms friend.

Oh fuck… I’m not a virgin anymore.

Oh fuck…Am I Elena’s submissive now?

Oh….fuck, indeed.

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A flashback…Ode to Mrs. Robinson.


I don’t know what they expected from me. I was just a 15 year old kid for fucks sake….

And, one already fucked up kid at that. Yeah, I was acting out..fighting at school, talking back to the only people that have ever shown me love, Carrick and Grace. They didn’t deserve it. They found it in their hearts to adopt me and give me a normal home, but, if anyone knew then how to overcome what I went through in the first 4 years of my life…I wish that they would’ve let me know.

I guess that’s where Elena Lincoln came in. You may know her as Mrs. Robinson. A long time friend of the family..with a secret of her own. But, to me she was exactly what I needed at the time. As fucked up as it was, she taught me how to take back control of my life.

I remember that it was a scorching hot summer day…I was a somewhat normal sophomore in high-school. Carrick and Grace had me outside in the backyard raking leaves…a punishment for a fight that I started in school. Of course, we had people to do that, but..they had to punish me somehow, I suppose.

Elena was over that day, visiting with mom. She uncharacteristically decided to come join me outside, and, I found that extremely odd since she never talked to me that much in the past. Maybe it was because I all of the sudden sprouted up and was beginning to fill out. I was becoming a young man…and, we all know now just how much she likes younger guys.

She walks over to me, handing me a glass of ice cold fresh lemonade. I drink it down then wipe the sweat from my brow. I can see her eyeing me, like I was about to be her next meal, and she hadn’t eaten for weeks. It made me uncomfortable, but, at the same time…I sort of liked it.

She was incredibly sexy. Tall, blond, tan. Forget the fact that she’s a close friend of my moms…she is what we’d call..the ultimate M.I.L.F. Any teenage boy would be stoked to hit that…but, little did I know at the time, that she would be the one…doing all of the hitting.

She starts talking to me about all of the trouble that I’d been in recently. She had this theory, that..with the proper..discipline .. .as she called it, that I could get control of my life, as opposed to throwing it away, like I was doing. “Darling boy”…she called me. “Let me show you sometime just what I mean.” Her eyes scan my shirtless chest, then trail down as she bites her lip before looking back up, meeting my then innocent gaze again.

Someone get this woman a bucket for all of that fucking drool…Christ…

I try to get her to explain what she had in mind, but, she just tells me to meet her at her house later tonight. She will be home alone, and will make up something to get my parents to let me come over..since I was “grounded” at the time.

I agree… obviously intrigued. Deep down I think I knew that she would be seducing me, and the thought excited me…I was an angry fucked up kid with raging hormones for Christs sake. What guy wouldn’t be excited at the thought of a sexy older woman taking their virginity.  Again..I had no idea just what sort of seductress she actually was.

I arrive at her house later that night. It’s practically a mansion, very impressive. She wastes no time, leading me to a room in the basement. Obviously, a secret room.

Inside it looks pretty normal, but, after she reveals what is hiding behind a thick curtain that is hung on the wall, I now know what I’m in for. My eyes are wide, my mouth is now hanging open. I stand there silent looking at all of the implements of torture that hang on the large wall, I look over at Elena wondering just what the fuck she’s about to introduce me to.

“Darling boy, don’t just stand there with your mouth hanging open..get undressed.” She says with a devious grin on her face, her tone is demanding, bossy, arrogant.

I’m frozen. I’m not getting naked in front of my moms friend. What the fuck should I do? Alright..I came thinking..maybe even hoping that she’d seduce me, but..now I’m actually nervous, and to be honest, a little more than afraid of some of the shit that’s hanging on that wall.

“Darling…I wont tell you again..now, take off your clothes. We have much to do, and not a lot time” She walks over to the wall and takes down a long leather stick with fringe on the end. What the fuck is she going to do with that? She turns back to look at me to see if I’m doing as I’m told. “Christian…now.” She snaps. I’m still frozen.

Fuck, who am I to argue.

I reluctantly remove all of my clothes…

She walks towards me, snapping the stick against her palm.”On your knees, darling.” She orders.

And, before I know it, I’m naked on the floor, kneeling before her. And, so it begins.

Christian Grey…the submissive.

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