Things that go bump in the night…

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The next morning I wake up, yes..still in her bed. I’m surprised to find my arms still wrapped around her..tight, as if I’m clutching on for dear life. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that feeling. I’ve spent my entire adult life running away from any sort of feelings outside of the ones I have regarding my submissives. Feelings of control. Total and complete control.

I look over at Anastasia, who has also just woken up, perhaps by my stirring as I unleash her from my arms. “Good morning, Miss Steele. I hope you slept well.” I didn’t, and that’s no surprise. The nightmares continue.. I don’t think that they will ever go away.

It’s the same nightmare. It plays over and over, night after night, like a bad movie. I see him, the pimp. He’s hitting her again, hard. I hide under the kitchen table as I always do when he gets like this, which is often. Mommy is crying, begging him to stop. She’s curled up on the floor and he has that big brown belt in his hand, and he’s using it to hurt mommy. I hope he doesn’t find me under here, I scoot as far back as I can, trying to disappear. 

But, he does find me, he always finds me. I cry out..No..no! And my tiny arms try to fight him off, but they can’t. I’m just not strong enough yet. He pulls me out from under the table by my shirt and I know what is about to happen, the same thing that always happens when he finds me. His breath smells really bad. Like cigarettes and cheap booze. He calls me really bad names. Shut the fuck up, you little bastard. Stop your fucking crying or I’ll make this worse than last time. I cry out for mommy again..she looks like she’s sleeping now. Still in a ball on the floor, her face bruised, her lips bleeding.

The pimp takes his lit cigarette and presses it hard on my chest, I scream. It hurts so bad. He does it over and over, until the butt finally goes out on my skin. The smell of flesh burning fills the air of our tiny apartment. Now I’m crying uncontrollably and wishing that he’d just kill me. I hate it when he hurts me and mommy.

I glance over at the clock, taking notice of the time. “Shit, I’m late.” I hurry out of bed and get dressed. “I have a meeting at 8:00…I have to go, or I’ll be late..and, I don’t do late.” She gets up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and walks me to the door. I remind her that Taylor will be over later to retrieve the keys to her Beetle, and of her appointment with my doctor this Sunday at my place.

“Have a great last day of work, baby.” I kiss her softly on the lips before rushing out the door. 

On the drive back to The Heathman, I think about how nice it will be to have her in Seattle after the move this weekend. She will be close to Escala, easier for me to keep an eye on her. Close enough for me to be able to show up and fuck her whenever I wish. Sunday won’t come fast enough. 

Meeting her has been such a roller-coaster of events in such a short amount of time. Some good, some bad, but with everything that has happened up to this point, all I know is that I need to be with her.

But, I still wonder..Can I be everything that what she wants…. 

About Christian Grey

CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.Entrepreneur, Philanthropist. Billionaire,Dominant and extremely fucked up. I am here to tell my side of this..love story. @FuckedUpFifty_ Follow me on twitter... I am in no way affiliated with the incredible author of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, E.L.James.
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31 Responses to Things that go bump in the night…

  1. Another amazing entry, Mr Grey. Obviously this one had a much darker tone to it, which is always hard to deal with. But the emotion you convey is heartrending and visceral and it allows your readers to follow you along in your journey. Utterly captivating, Sir.

  2. I just want to hug the poor little boy inside you Christian. This one made me cry. It was that well written

  3. Michele says:

    Another very great blog and read. I feel really sad in this one because of the nightmares and the past that haunts you in your dreams, and how you want her close to you but wonder if you can be all she wants. I enjoyed this one and look forward to the next one vey much as always.

  4. Zoraya says:

    Such insight into the mind of Christian Grey.
    Such a tough exterior but really still a small, scared child. The blog is phenomenal. Great work! 😉

  5. *Tears rolling down my face* Oh Christian this one was so heart wrenching. So revealing. I really want to hug you right now! Love everything you write babe and this was no exception. Perfection as always!

  6. Sarah says:

    Wow, powerful stuff – I love reading your posts but this is the 1st time I’ve commented. You really moved me with this one! Looking forward to the next instalment xxx

  7. Bravo! It’s interesting to get this POV. You say you’re realizing that you ‘need’ Ana. Do you have any idea (yet) that you’re falling in love with her?

  8. Chrissy says:

    As good as ever Mr G. Always leave us wanting more. The little boy version of you struck a nerve in me. Thank you for writing this amazing Blog.

  9. Ms.JoJo says:

    Mr.Grey
    Once again you have touched my heart .
    I have no words this time .. ( tear falls)
    Xxx
    JoJo

  10. Ms JoJo says:

    Bossy Fifty
    😉

  11. Jennifer says:

    As usual another amazing and mind blowing blog. I cannot get enough of them! Just like the books!

  12. punkinboo77 says:

    Perfection as always Mr. Grey! This blog was charged with intense emotion and insight.

  13. Beth says:

    I’m in tears. If this doesn’t pull at your heart, you have no soul. I LOVE this. Brilliant as always, sir. Thank you for sharing with us. *hugs*

  14. Melissa says:

    Mr. Grey,

    What a splendid job you did getting in touch with the emotions on this entry. I just wanted to hug the little boy and tell him it will be ok. Fantastic!

  15. miss happy says:

    hi gorgeous u never cease to amaze me i just love reading ure blogs they get better all the time. im so proud you. you are a great writer. the emotions in this one is great. xxx smiles

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