“Why don’t you like to be touched?”
There it is. The question that I will never answer. The part of me that I keep to myself. The part of me…I wish to forget.The ugly truth behind this fucked up man.This is exactly why I like my relationships the way they are. No questions. Submissive’s know not to ask.
“I just don’t” I shrug it off. Subject change. “So, was that email your idea of a joke?” My mouth pressed into a hard line, my tone serious. She smiles..no answer yet again. I really hate it when she does that. I will take that as…she’s thinking it over still? Yes, that works for me.
“I haven’t made up my mind yet.” She speaks. I knew that she could. She asks if I will be collaring her. Hmm, interesting… “You’ve been doing your research I see.” That pleases me very much. She wouldn’t be doing it, if she wasn’t at least toying with the idea. “I don’t know Anastasia, I have never collared anyone.”
“Were you collared?” She seems embarrassed to be asking, her voice is soft and sweet. “Yes.” I reply quickly. “By Mrs.Robinson?” She quirks her brow as she asks. “Mrs.Robinson?” I have to laugh at that one. “I’ll have to tell her that you called her that. She will love it” Her expression quickly changes from amusement to disappointment. “You still talk to her?” Christ, here we go. I can already see a jealous side rearing it’s ugly head. “Yes. Mrs. Robinson was a part of that lifestyle, she’s only a friend now..nothing more.” I see by her expression that she’s not happy about this. How do I explain to her what Mrs. Robinson did for me, how she saved me from myself. I won’t explain, I drop it quickly. Time to go.
I retrieve my clothes off of the floor and begin dressing. “Aren’t you staying?” She still seems upset..shit. “No, I have a breakfast meeting in the morning. Besides, I told you, I don’t sleep with subs, slaves..or anyone. Friday and Saturday night I made an exception. It won’t happen again, I assure you.” I finish getting dressed and head for the door. She seems a bit upset by that. Did she really think that I would change? Hearts and flowers…that’s just not the way I do things. Relationships don’t work that way for me.
She walks me out and we linger just for a moment to discuss our date..meeting, whatever you want to call it, for Wednesday. Hopefully she signs the fucking contract so that we can move forward. I want nothing more than her consent. Consent for me to finally be able to do whatever I wish to her. Consent for me to well, basically call the shots in almost every aspect of her life. Control freak, yes. But, it’s all I know, it’s how I need it to be.
My hand moves up from her chin and is now caressing her cheek. My lips press softly against hers. My breathing accelerates as the kiss between us intensifies. I have never wanted any woman the way that I want her. This isn’t happening..keep it together Grey, remember who you are. I feel that I may be losing at my own game, a walking contradiction if you will. No….I won’t let that happen, ever. I pull away after a few moments. Fuck..what was that? I do not kiss with that kind of passion. Aggression, greed, lust even..but, never passion. I close my eyes, pressing my forehead to hers lost for a brief moment…
“Anastasia.” I whisper, still breathless. “What are you doing to me?”
Christ, this isn’t happening………